Guild Members
Calipygia
which is Greek for “having shapely buttocks”, is the current guild master for The Left Foot of Darkness. She is a 31st level priest, who started as a tailor and enchanter, but dumped enchanting for skinning.
She’s spec’d out for shadow magic at this time, until she reaches level 40, which at this rate, should be sometime in 2010. She has been stuck at 31 since the beginning of the Burning Crusade, but now that Marakus has finally made 70, there is a better chance that she will start to advance again.
She tends to carry a 20-pound catfish in her left hand for no apparent reason.
She has never entered an instance, which could be one of the main reasons she is still stuck at level 31.
She refuses to wear a robe.
When feeling the frenzy of battle, she often cries “FISH!” to create fear and confusion in her foes.
Her current home is in Ashenvale, where she has opened a small shop selling black silk bags and small stuffed Moonkin toys to weary travelers.
UPDATE
Calipygia has recently been active in Desolace and Stranglethorn Vale and has risen to level 36. She is determined to make 40 before 2008.
Forunlawf
is the heart of The Left Foot of Darkness.
The origins of his name are shrouded in mystery, but his name has a common meaning throughout all Azeroth. In Stormwind, forunlawf is the sound of someone being kicked in the groin and thrown into the canal. In Ironforge, it is the sound of someone being poked in the eye and thrown into molten iron. In the Undercity, forunlawf means the sound of someone having their legs broken and in Ogrimar it means the sound that comes before bleeding. In Thunderbluff, it means the sound that someone makes when they hit the ground after being punched in the gut and thrown off a tall mountain.
Strangely enough, in the city of Darnassus, forunlawf refers to a breakfast pastry made with walnuts and raisins.
Forunlawf is tireless in his quest to beat things to death, and acts as the guild’s primary tank.
He is also an herbalist and alchemist, and is known for his generosity.
Kneeko
which means “dark figure that chuckles while his bird rips your face off” in the tongue of the Night Elves, is our resident hunter and enchanter. Kneeko’s bird, Tenz, is an honorary guild member that often does enough damage to steal aggro from Forunlawf.
One of the few non-human guild members, Kneeko was brought in as part of an affirmative action program that was developed between Stormwind and Darnassus.
(Originally, Noremacved was sent to a Night Elf guild as part of an exchange program, but he decided it was in the best interest of the Left Foot of Darkness to return home once he was released from the palace dungeon. Since Kneeko is a male Night Elf, he is exempt from the restraining order and Noremacved doesn’t have to stay 100 yards away at all times.)
Kneeko’s enchanting skill is extremely useful to the guild, not only for enchantments, but for getting rid of soul-bound drops that are useless to everyone. Send any items you cannot sell to Kneeko for disenchanting.
Kneeko was recently awarded the Temple of the Moon “Darni” Award for his outstanding documentary about the making of the Sisters of Elune Swimsuit Calendar, titled “Andu-falah-dor, baby!”
Marakus
which is Croatian for “hair model”, was the original guild master, but transferred the position to Calipygia when it was rumored that there was some action in another guild. This rumor ended up proving false, at least for most of the guild members who, as a rule, are very anti-social and don’t like being bugged to do things.
Having recently made level 70, Marakus is now without purpose or aim, and like all the other level 70s must now punch the clock in the pursuit of gold and magic items.
Marakus has been a miner/blacksmith from the very start, and currently has maxed out his mining, but is still working on blacksmithing. He must first improve his reputation with the lower city dwellers before he can learn new skills. His habit of wearing buttons that say, “Lower City Dwellers Smell Like Murlocs” has not helped matters.
He is currently spec’d for huge amounts of critical damage with two-handed weapons. This works out well in groups, as he will often pull aggro temporarily from others and confuse the enemy. If the enemy remains focused on him; however, Marakus often catches an acute case of death rather quickly.
Necco
which means “chalky candy disc that does huge amounts of damage and can probably kick you, your uncle, and his dog’s asses at the same time” in the strangely morpheme compacted language of the Naaru, is the rock-star-mage of the Left Foot of Darkness.
He has the best gear, the most knowledge, the most experience, and the best hair of any guild member. He has roasted marshmallows at the Molten Core, danced the limbo at Zul’Gurub, exhausted the royal harem at the Temple of Ahn’Qiraj, and is rumored to have once taken Onyxia over his knee and spanked her with a riding crop.
When most wizards of his experience and caliber would wear a “Been there, done that” t-shirt, Necco has chosen to wear our guild taberd and guide us with his knowledge of the realm of Azeroth.
All contact should be made through his press agent. Seriously, don’t bother him too much.
Noremacved
which means “scary offspring with special needs that may need to be left outside in the snow so that we can sleep easier in our beds at night” in the ancient tongue of the Blood Elves, is our amazingly deadly but lovable rogue.
He is shown here trying to work it in front of some female Draenei, who he feels are “way hot in that race-horse kind of way.” He has been known to run into crowds of enemies because of the joy he knows it will cause his fellow guild mates as they roll about in laughter as he is hacked to bits.
His current professions are mining and engineering. He is currently working on fitting his horse with a cup holder big enough to hold a 64 ounce Big Gulp of Mountain Dew.
Pythag
When his exotic pet shop, located on the outer promenade deck of the dimension traveling city-ship Exodar, was destroyed upon crashing into Azeroth, Pythag was left with no means of supporting his habit of collecting animal themed PEZ dispensers.
His business insurance claim was denied because of a stipulation in fine print that stating that all damages caused by crash landings on alien worlds are not covered if said crash occurs while Celine Dion is on tour. Hardly satisfied with the Giftbasket of the Naaru he received for his loss, Pythag set out into the wilds of Kalimdor to seek his fortune.
Fascinated by the minerals and gems of his new home, Pythag soon developed an impressive skill in jewelcrafting. He recently was able to finance the purchase of a high-speed flying mount with the proceeds of a line of beautiful crystal brooches with an additional enchantment of +18 to knitting. This sold out immediately on the Azeroth home shopping network.
The origin of the name Pythag is somewhat deceptive. Originally thought to be a derivation of the name of a famous Human mathematician, in the ancient tongue of the Draenei, Pythag means to fart on the head of a feral man-child.
